Unreleased Songs

The Dickies Unreleased Songs Lyrics
1.Going Homo

Lyricist:Stan Lee, Leonard Phillips

I can't find a dame, they're always the same
I'm going to shame my family name 'cause I'm going homo
I always used to flirt, my feelings got hurt
Now I'm going out with Kurt 'cause I'm going homo

I'm going homo, what could I do?
I wouldn't give me aids if I were you
Going homo is the way to be when you're turning
Going homo today

With my eyes in my pocket, my nose on the ground
People put me down 'cause I'm going homo
I can't relate, I am what I ate
My lifestyle's alternate 'cause I'm going homo

I'm going homo, what could I do?
I wanna talk about it on Donahue
I'm going all the way to Miami
Going homo today

All of the questions I don't want to ask
Why did God make men with nipples? Nipples on a man
All of the girls I know they're butterballs
They're all the same from the waist down
When they're wearing their gowns

I'm wise, I'm through with telling lies
Hanging out with guys, I'm going homo
And I'm still here, I'm parking in the rear
All the girls are shedding tears 'cause I'm going homo

I'm going homo, what could I say?
We're living in Babylon today
I'm going all the way to Miami
Goin' homo today


2.My Pop the Cop

Lyricist:Stan Lee, Leonard Phillips, Stan Sobol

I got a letter from my mom today
She's telling me, he's here to stay
It's quite a strange phenomenon
Won't you turn that siren on

I'm talking about, my pop the cop
He's taking names and he's blowin' his top
My pop the cop
I only wish that I could make him stop

Don't wanna fight or start a row
To sacrifice that sacred cow
He's packing heat now he can't fail
And mommy dearest won't pay my bail

I'm talking about, my pop the cop
He's taking names and he's blowin' his top
My pop the cop
I only wish that I could make him stop

My pop the cop
He's taking names and he's blowin' his top
My pop the cop
I only wish that I could make him stop

Yeah, he's the law there's now doubt about it
Tell me why he's so proud about it
I thought of runnin' away
But I don't wanna now

I'm talking about, my pop the cop
He's taking names and he's blowin' his top
My pop the cop
I only wish that I could make him stop

My pop the cop
He's taking names and he's blowin' his top
My pop the cop
I only wish that I could make him stop

My pop the cop
My pop the cop
My pop the cop


3.It's Huge

Lyricist:Leonard Phillips, Stan Sobol

King size, XL
Double magnified
Longer than the Rio Grande
Or a river twice as wide

Bigger than the Beatles
Better than the Rolling Stones
All across the universe
And light-years from home

It's huge
My love for you is huge
My love for you is huge

It's bigger than a bread box
Deeper than the deep blue sea
Longer than the China Wall
More than you and me

Tougher than Godzilla
Bigger than ol' King Kong
Longer than the Texas state
Bigger than this song

It's huge
My love for you is huge

It's scaring me, what's tearing me apart
Is that I'm made to feel so small
But when I see myself reflected in your eyes
I'm ten feet tall

King size, Extra large
Quadruple magnified
Longer than the Rio Grande
or a river twice as wide

Bigger than the Beatles
Better than the Rolling Stones
All across the universe
And light-years from home

It's huge
My love for you is huge
Don't be afraid of it, it's huge
My love for you is huge

It's huge
Huge, huge, huge


4.Silent Night

Lyricist:Franz Gruber, Joseph Mohr, John Freeman Young

Silent night. holy night, all is calm, all is bright
'Round yon virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant, so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace


5.Howdy Doody In The Woodshed

Lyricist:Steve Hufsteter, Stan Lee, Leonard G Phillips, Stan Sobol

His hair is red, his eyes are green
He's like a person that you've never seen
He'll sing and dance, he's been to France
But he doesn't seem to stand a chance

That's when I saw
Howdy doody in the woodshed
(Goin' down on Buffalo Bob)
Howdy doody in the woodshed
(Goin' down on Buffalo Bob)
Howdy doody in the woodshed, the woodshed
(Goin' down on Buffalo Bob)

A smarter man would never plan
To have so many splinters in his hand
And Clarabelle would never tell
'Cause he's afraid that he might go to jail

Well, what became of big bird
I know it's gonna sound rather absurd
They found some yellow feathers and some other debris
Just underneath the peanut gallery

Ask Mortimer Snerd ask Charlie McCarthy
Even Oscar, 'The Grouch', has seen his casting couch
That's when he caught
A whiff of knucklehead Smiff

And curse his job, he works with Bob
'Cause he was swinging from an old corn cob
And that's the thing, Bob pulls the strings
So you know it when you hear me sing

Howdy doody, howdy doody
Howdy doody in the woodshed


6.If Stuart Could Talk

Lyricist:Steve Hufsteter, Leonard Phillips

I got a little friend, he's with me to the end
What does he say?
I ask him for opinions and political decisions
Each and everyday
I know that it's a dream dirty and obscene anyway

If Stuart could talk, what would he say?
If Stuart could talk, what would he say?
If Stuart could talk, what would he say?
What would he say if Stuey could talk to me?

Whenever I'm alone, I'm really not alone
He's always there
When I am going to falter and I'm standing at the alter
And there's not a prayer
I know it's up to him if I ever sin anyway

What would he say, what would he say?
'Yes, my name is Stuart and I assure you I can speak'

'And lately I find myself astounded
At the sort of company you keep
Something further I must mention
Of this fact I cannot understand'

'Is your insatiable attention at annoying me with your hand?
And in closing, may I offer this point must be succinct?
My purpose is for procreation and not facilitating in your sin'


7.Eve of Destruction

Lyricist:Steve Barri, Phil Sloan

The eastern world it is exploding
Violence flaring and bullets loading
You're old enough to kill but not for voting

You don't believe in war
But what's that gun you're toting
And even Jordan river has bodies floating

But you tell me
Over and over and over again my friend
Ah, you don't believe
We're on the eve of destruction

My blood's is so mad it feels like coagulating
I'm sitting here just contemplating
I can't twist the truth it knows no regulation
And a handful of senators don't pass legislation

Busing alone can't bring segregation
When human respect is disintegrating
The whole fucking world is just too frustrating

But you tell me
Over and over and over again my friend
Ah, you don't believe
We're on the eve of destruction

Well, look at all the hate there is in Alhambra
Then look around to Selma, Alabama
You may leave here for four days in space
But when you come back it's the same old place

The pounding of the drums pride and disgrace
You can bury your dead but don't leave a trace
Hate your next door neighbor but don't forget to say grace

But you tell me
Over and over and over again my friend
Ah, you don't believe
We're on the eve of destruction


8.Sobriety

Lyricist:Leonard Phillips, Stan Sobol

I got a steady job but I'm living a lie
I'm a drunken slob, I've got a D.U.I
Sobriety, sobriety

When I was 17, I had my first drink
Now I'm 43 and I'm seeing a shrink
Sobriety, sobriety

Mom, I'm living at the chandler lodge
Somebody wants to sell me the dodge
It's another gift of sobriety

It took a fifth of vodka, just to put me to sleep
Now you take away the liquor and you're left with a creep
Sobriety, sobriety

You've got a lot of nerve to tell me things are okay
If you want to keep it, gotta give it away
Sobriety, sobriety

Mom, I'm living at the chandler lodge
Somebody wants to sell me the dodge
It's another gift of sobriety

Everybody knows, the emperor's got new clothes
I'm gonna make the story sad
But it's the best friend I ever had

I know it's gonna kick my ass
So go ahead and pour another glass
Sobriety, sobriety

Mom, they threw me out the chandler lodge
So now I'm sleeping in my dodge
It's another gift of sobriety

Mom, they threw me out the chandler lodge
So now I'm sleeping in my dodge
It's another gift of sobriety


9.I Did It

Lyricist:Leonard Phillips, Stan Sobol

I did it, you didn't mean to do it, no, I didn't
Then why'd you say, you did it but I didn't
You just told me you did it, no, I didn't

I did it, you didn't mean to do it, no, I didn't
Then why'd you say, you did it but I didn't
You just told me you did it, no, I didn't

You started it, you started it, no, I didn't
You started it, you started it

I did it, you didn't mean to do it, no, I didn't
Then why'd you say, you did it but I didn't
You just told me you did it, no, I didn't

I did it, you didn't mean to do it, no, I didn't
Then why'd you say, you did it but I didn't
You just told me you did it, no, I didn't

You started it, you started it, no, I didn't
You started it, you started it

Don't make me come back there 'cause I'm warning you
That I will do what I have to do

You started it, you started it, no, I didn't
You started it, you started it

Don't make me come back there 'cause I'm warning you
That I will do what I have to do

I did it, you didn't mean to do it, no, I didn't
Then why'd you say, you did it but I didn't
You just told me you did it, no, I didn't

You started it, you started it, no, I didn't
You started it, you started it


10.He's Courtin' Courtney

Lyricist:Leonard Phillips, Stan Sobol

I bought me a '38
I just got back from heaven's gate
He's courtin' Courtney
I didn't think she'd get far
But now she's a fuckin' movie star
He's courtin' Courtney, he's courtin' Courtney

She'll keep me in beer and cigarettes
And be my turtle dove
It's Courtney
She's the one I love

I don't want to be unkind
But she's the kind of girl
l make you lose your mind
He's courtin' Courtney
He's courtin' Courtney

I help her spend her cash
I treat her just like trailer trash
He's courtin' Courtney
He's courtin' Courtney

Sugar spice everything nice
I don't need to heed
Your priceless advice
When I'm courting Courtney love

She'll keep me in beer and cigarettes
And be my turtle dove
It's Courtney
She's the one I love

Think I'll throw a fit
I've made my bed, I'm gonna lie in it
He's courtin' Courtney
He's courtin' Courtney

Courting, I'm courtin' Courtney
'Cos he's courting
I'm courtin' Courtney, Courtney
'Cos he's courting

I'm courtin' Courtney
Courtney, Courtney
'Cos he's courting
I'm courtin' Courtney
Courtney, Courtney


11.Whack the Dalai Lama

Lyricist:Leonard Phillips, Stan Sobol

There's one hand clapping and it's in my head
Whack the Dalai Lama
He's telling me he'd be better off dead
Whack the Dalai Lama

And he's the focus of evil in the world today
Whack the Dalai Lama
Well i'm the real Dalai Lama anyway
Whack the Dalai Lama

Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack
Whack the Dalai Lama
Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack
Whack the Dalai Lama

He's an informant for the FBI
Whack the Dalai Lama
Stop me and tell the world goodbye
Whack the Dalai Lama

And all the rich kids on the MTV
Whack the Dalai Lama
Are saying buy my records and Tibet goes free
Whack the Dalai Lama

Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack
Whack the Dalai Lama
Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack
Whack the Dalai Lama
Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack

The bigger they come the harder they fall
I'm not a spiritual Steven Segal
So, line 'em up against the wall
I'm not the Dalai Lama

When there's no one there
I'll be dressed as Richard Gere
I'll sit down to meditate when I draw my gun
He'll already have begun to re-incarnate

The bigger they come the harder they fall
I'm not a spiritual Steven Segal
So, line 'em up against the wall
I'm not the Dalai Lama

Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack
Whack the Dalai Lama
Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack
Whack the Dalai Lama
Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack
Whack the Dalai Lama
Whack the Dalai Lama


12.You Drive Me Ape (You Big Gorilla)

Lyricist:Stan Sobol, Chuck Wagon

You drive me ape
You big gorilla
Come on ape, ape
I wanna tell ya

Swinging around from every town to town
I swing around and I never come down
City is a jungle, now this is it
Every time I look at you I go ape shit

You big gorilla, ape, ape
I wanna tell ya

Cruising through the trees with the birds and the bees
Baby,baby monkey, I ain't so hard to please
Cruising through the trees with the birds and the bees
Baby, baby monkey, you won't get no disease
I got no disease

Ape, you big gorilla
Ape, ape, I wanna tell ya yeah yeah
Ape, you drive me ape, ape
Ape you down, ape, ape
Pretty baby now, ape, ape


13.Pretty Please Me

Lyricist:Steven Hufsteter

Pretty please with the sugar on top
Hey babe, won't you do the flop?
Bebop boy, see J, sea bring
Twenty thousand years in sing sing
I said my, my, my, my

Animal God with a cod piece
Still shot on the stormy seas
Be a man, wanna be a man
People got to eat in Pakistan
I said my, my, my, my

Please me, pretty please me
It's so easy, pretty please me
If it feels alright
Pretty please me rig-ig-ight

San san is the new age
The bam bam is the new rage
I've got a girl, a twitchin' girl
I keep her cool in a dream world
I said my, my my my

Please me, pretty please me
It's so easy, pretty please me
If it feels alright
Pretty please me rig-ig-ight
Ohh, I like that

Tick tock, goes the big clock
I take a time out till the whole world stops
Bang bang, goes the big gun
And tell me baby, I'm the only one
I said my, my, my, my

Please me, pretty please me
So easy, pretty please me
If it feels alright
Pretty please me rig-ig-ight
Pretty please me, ohh, yeah

Please me, please me, pretty please me
Please me, please me, pretty please me
Please me, please me, pretty please me
Please me, please me, pretty please me

Please me, please me, pretty please me
Please me, please me, pretty please me
Please me, please me, pretty please me
Please me, please me, pretty please me


14.Manny, Moe and Jack

Lyricist:Carlos Caballero, Phillip Lee Holmes, Stan Sobol, Danny Wilde

When you're on the road
And your car won't pull that load
And your wheels aren't feeling, feeling fine
Well, I know of this joint
Where they'll check your plugs and points
I know these guys, they're three good friends of mine

Hey, Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after
Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after

Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after
Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after
Manny, Moe and Jack

Once you're inside
They're gonna take you for a ride
They got a good deal for you and your automobile
For the right price
They're gonna sell you fuzzy dice
And leather hand grips for your steering wheel

Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after
Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after

Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after
Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after
Manny, Moe and Jack

If it's tires you want
They got a lot for you
Dunlop, Firestone, Pirelli too

Manny, Moe and Jack
Manny, Moe and Jack
Manny, Moe and Jack
Manny, Moe and Jack

Manny, Moe and Jack
Manny, Moe and Jack
Manny, Moe and Jack

Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after
Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after

Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after
Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after

Manny, Moe and Jack
I said, they know what I'm after
Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after

Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after
Manny, Moe and Jack
They know what I'm after
Manny, Moe and Jack


15.Fan Mail

Lyricist:Caballero Carlos, Hufsteter Steve, Phillips Leonard

Dear sirs, to whom this may concern
There's facts I'd like to learn
So many things I wanna know
Especially trivial info paraphernalia
Badges and regalia, please send me everything

'Cause I am interested in you and every thing you do
I find myself at all your shows
Could you tell me where you buy your clothes?
Could you sign my little sister's face?
Put your signature any place and please send me a bio

'Cause we've got fan mail, we really, really read it
Fan mail, we really, really need it
I sent you my letter, now I want a reply
You don't know any better than
You won't take your time with my fan mail

So I would like to know just if and when
You'll be in town again so that I could meet with you
And brag at my friends at school
Have you been all around the world?
Have you seen every kind of girl
Or are you from the other side?

'Cause you, you can't believe everything that you read
With the hypocrisy and the greed
The papers all the things that they say
They don't tell me anything anyway
That's why I've gotta get it straight from you
Concerning your situation without an obligation

What's this I find to my surprise
The fans that I idolized no longer seem to exist
Now tell what can be the cause of this, perhaps it could be
their egos
I tell you heaven only knows, I didn't even get a newsletter

Fan mail, send it out to me
Fan mail, special delivery


16.Nobody But Me

Lyricist:O'kelly Isley, Ronald Isley, Rudolph Isley

Nobody but me
Isley, Isley, Isley

Nobody can do the shake like I do
Nobody can do the twist like I do
Nobody can do the boogaloo like I do
Nobody can do the monkey like I do

Well, let me tell you that the kids are doing it
Nobody doin' but me, babe, nobody but me
I wanna tell you that the kids are doing it
Nobody doin' but me, babe, nobody but me
Well, there's nobody nobody but me

Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody

Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, no


17.Banana Splits (The Tra La La Song)

Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la

One banana, two banana, three banana, four
All bananas make a split, so do many more
Over hill and highway, the banana buggies go
Come along to bring you the banana splits show

Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la

Four banana, three banana, two banana, one
All bananas playing in the bright warm sun
Flipping like a pancake, popping like a cork
Fleagle bingo drooper and snork

Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la

Making up a mess of fun
Making up a mess of fun
Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone

Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la

Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la

Four banana, three banana, two banana, one
All bananas playing in the bright warm sun
Flipping like a pancake, popping like a cork
Fleagle bingo drooper and snork

Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la
Tra la la, tra la la, la


18.Waterslide

I got my mat, I'm gonna take a dive
I might get wet but I'll still be alive
It only cost 3 bones to prove my masculinity
But when I'm riding, I'm free

I'm on the waterslide
(Woh, oh)
I'm on the waterslide
(Let's go)
I'm on the waterslide
Watch me go

In the shoot, I'll do the loop to loop
But in the end, I'll wind up in the soup
Last one to finish, has to pay for every ride
But if I'm last you'll let me slide

Go down backwards on the waterslide
Lane 5 on the waterslide
Lane 6 on the waterslide
I'm getting wet on the waterslide


19.Communication Breakdown

Hey girl
Stop what you're doing
Hey girl
Stop what you're doing

I don't know what it is about you
But I like it a lot
Oh, let me hold you baby
Feel your loving charms

Communication breakdown
It's always the same
Communication breakdown
I cannot contain

Hey little girl
I really, really think you're swell
What are the things about you
That I know, that I like so well

I wanna hold, I wanna hold
I wanna hold you in my arms
I'm never gonna let you go baby
Yes, I like your lucky charms


20.Shake And Bake

Now I got the hook
And now I got the bait
Now I got the bait
So don't slow me down

Now I got a car
And now I gotta girl
Now I got a car
To go around the world

Shake and bake
Shake and bake
Shake and bake

Now I got the hook
And now I got the bait
Now I got the bait
So don't slow me down, down, down

Now I got a car
I'm drivin' me a Jaguar
Now I got a car
To go around the world


21.Magoomba

Lyricist:Stan Lee, Leonard Phillips

In the beginning since the dawn of man
In forest green and in desert sands
The yearning of humanity
To know that God is a reality

Is there a heaven, is there a hell?
Where angels sing and demons dwell
To know all this, I used to think was wise
But then magoomba opened my eyes

Magoomba, magoomba
Voodoo God of Africa
Magoomba

Magoomba, magoomba
Voodoo God of Africa
Magoomba

Holy, holy be his terrible name
Utter it once and go up in flames
Adorn his crown with butterflies
Ayin' the sign of the opened eye

The words of madness and mystery
The very power that he brings to me
I rave, I rape, I rip, I rend
Is everlasting world without end

Magoomba rides upon the whirlwinds
Spawn from nature's ancient dream
He moves upon the world of mankind
Like the siren's scream

Does he like Buddha or Jesus Christ?
Can he promise you a paradise?
Does he bring light like Lucifer?
Bestowing power by the rite of birth

The day of cross and trinity is done
The twilight of the Gods has come
It is the morning of magic and mirth
Magoomba lives upon the earth